Isolation

I was speaking with a girlfriend recently, who opened up about her insecurities but also wanted to start dating. I obviously validated her feelings explaining that it is completely normal to feel insecure when you are putting yourself out there. It can be scary not knowing how the other person is going to react toward you. I did, however, give her a pep talk from my perspective.

I said “You need to love and accept yourself so much, enjoy your own company so much that it won’t matter who is sitting across the table from you. If the other person isn’t able to see your worth, then NEXT. Bye.”

I think back to that conversation and can’t help but laugh because I am much better at lifting my friends up and telling them to love themselves and be confident-when in reality I struggle quite a bit with this myself.

It’s like every time I am listening to a friend’s dilemmas, I surprise myself with the insightful advice that rolls out of my mouth. Many times I should be preaching these same things to myself. I’ve realized that I am better at seeing the worth in my friends than my own, I don’t really know my value.

In this quarantine, as well as with being a stay-at-home for over a year, I’ve learned to practice a lot of solitude. When you are alone with your thoughts and feelings for long periods of time, you are forced to slow down and listen.

I overlook that the wisdom, which holds many of the answers I seek, is WITHIN.

I am grateful I am on the path to knowing my worth. I want to build a foundation, with a strong sense of self, that will be difficult to knock down. The value I place on myself should supersede anyone else’s feelings or perspective about me.

My 30th birthday is approaching in 4 months. Learning to know who I am, what my values are, my personal boundaries, will help me teach my daughters how to do this for themselves. Daily, I continue to practice forming the person I want to be, and model for my children. 

At times, this world feels isolating-quarantine or not.

Practicing physical and mental solitude can help you uncover things that you need to focus more on. Don’t ignore the message your body/soul/spirit is sending you.

I’ll end this blog with a THANK YOU to you the universe.

Thank you for always having a lesson for me to learn. I look forward to growing with your continued guidance. 

XOxo Michelle.